I've decided to make a new xanga.

http://www.xanga.com/angela_stephanie

yes.

Tonight was the Chi Alpha Thanksgiving dinner. I originally didn't think I'd be able to go but with a lot of trouble, I was able to.

I had been struggling for the longest time to tell my dad about XA and be honest about where I was, so I was originally going to lie about where I was going and sneak my way to the girl's house on Wyoming, since my dad hates the neighborhood. But I decided it'd be best if I told the truth. I got yelled at for it, accused of a lot of inappropriate things I'd rather not get into here that involved all of us there (about 25), and a lot of negativity. I was able to go though. I'm glad I told the truth about it. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone else but it was in this house.

It was worth it though. I had an awesome time. Tons of fun. Dinner, goofing around, dancing, etc. I'm glad I was able to have "Thanksgiving" with them. Without them I have no idea how this first quarter of college would have gone.

Here are a few pictures from tonight...

Mostly everyone. Sort of.

Me and Nicole. If she looks scared it's because she's trying not to blink. haha. 

Josh D. and Bevan

Andy and Casey

Bevan and Kyle


"Gray Sweater Club"
First pic: Dan, Jeremy, Sarah, Andy
Second: I think they're trying to look like a mother, father, and kids...?

Zach and Joe washing dishes in a "manly way"

Nick, Brian, and Dan trying to be "GQ" while Josh L. eats a bowl of turkey.

Ashley W. straightening Jeremy's hair in the bathroom.

And then we had a "Hair Show" with all of the guys who straightened their hair while listening to Spice Girls, I think. I can't remember. But it was some sort of music.

Josh

Adam's turn

Jeremy flipping his hair, as Bevan (who I missed because my camera's memory was full, I had to delete some before taking more) shows off his fauxhawk.

The guys, trying to be "serious" with Nathan, who got his hair braided by Tracy.

Then there was dancing. My camera wouldn't take any more, but here's Bevan.

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Lots of fun. Tons of laughs. Good times, good times. Thanks to everyone who had a part in it.

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Everything else is still same as before, but tonight was a good step I think.

Have a safe break everyone, and to all those traveling, be safe and I'll see you in 6 weeks! <3

I hope everyone else is doing well, and everything in the "drama" department turns out okay. I've gathered that things at Stebbins aren't going too smoothly in the drama field, so let's hope they straighten out. Good luck.

I know complaining isn't all that great, and I've been trying not to complain so much. I've been trying not to be so negative, but I have some things that I need to say. It's best to get everything out in the open instead of just telling a ton of people separately, or not telling anybody at all.

Winter break is next week. That means this first quarter of college is over. That also means that I could possibly move out in a few months or less. I've had so many setbacks with this, it's crazy. I only have one out of two letters. I haven't filled out all of the paperwork. My mom is completely unsupportive anymore because she's too scared, and in turn, that's making me scared. I'm scared that I'm rushing this and that I'll be completely unprepared. Half of me is telling me to do it because I know I'll be so much happier but another half is worried to death for my mom and the dogs. I don't know what will happen once I leave. I don't know how my dad will react or how things will be in the house.  Will my mom leave? Will my dad completely blow up at her and put her on a huge guilt trip? 

I feel like I'm abandoning my mom. I'm all she has anymore and if I leave then I feel like I'm leaving her behind. I know she's a big girl and can take care of herself, it's up to her about what she does with the rest of her life, and maybe once I leave she'll get the strength to leave. But what if she doesn't? What if she gets even more depressed because she feels alone? What if my mom can't take the dogs with her when she leaves? My dad will kill them. My dad will just beat the crap out of them probably and I don't want that.

He keeps harping me about my major, saying I'm pretty much wasting my time in Communications and I'll never amount to anything since I'm not making 100k a year. Who makes 100k a year RIGHT OUTSIDE of college?

I also didn't pass math this quarter. This worries me. What if college really wasn't for me? Everyone's always thought of me as the "smart one" in groups since I'm always on honor roll and had perfect attendence in high school. But guess what guys...

I just did my homework. I followed rules. I didn't like missing school. I did my class assignments, and the teachers were leniant because they thought I was a good student. I'm punctual. I'm a good writer. I have common sense. I don't have as many book smarts as people think I do. It's a struggle for me to get good grades. I don't just pick up on things once I hear them, I have to pay attention. Most of my friends are so smart, they got high test scores, they can have intelligent conversations and actually *know* what is going on and know the meanings of specific terminology.

I am smart. I'm not stupid. I have a lot of common sense and I'm good with people. So I'm not saying I'm stupid. I'm just saying that people's expectations seem a little high sometimes and I hate to disappoint, so I end up disappointing myself because I'm surrounded by all of these people like the ones mentioned above.

I feel like I'm being so emo and complaining so much here. I've tried to avoid this. I've tried to cut back on complaining so much because it's just not a great thing to do, but people need to vent sometimes.

But I also felt that by complaining so much, always talking about my home situation, it became repetitive. Nobody wants to hear it after so many times. I don't even want to hear it. I felt like it was becoming who I was, and I'm not that. I'm more than just talking about my home life. And I don't talk about it for sympathy or anything. I do it because it's a part of who I am, but sometimes it becomes too much of who I am and I don't want it to do that.

I've been feeling bleh the past few days. I need to talk but I don't know what to talk about. I just need things to get better and fall into place. I'm sure they will but I just don't get why it has to be so hard all of the time.

Anyway...I think I'm done for now. I need to study for a final tomorrow and my hand is hurting from typing so much/so fast.

Sorry for all the complaining. Thanks for listening though. I just thought I'd let you all know what's going on with me.

I guess I better update.

Today was my last day of classes. Tomorrow I work from 9a.m.-Noon so if  you're on campus, you should come see me. Then I go home.

I didn't pass math. I missed it by 30 points. Bah. I have about a 78% or 79% but you need an 80% so I didn't pass. I'll be taking the class again over winter break. So let's hope I pass it this time.

Wednesday was the last real Ignite. Next Wednesday is some little party we're having. And the Friday after that we're having Thanksgiving dinner. Hopefully I'm able to go to that. It'd be super. We'll see what I can manage.

I'm done except for finals week and my winter break class, but the actual winter quarter doesn't start again until January 3rd. So I'm done for a while.

I need to get a seasonal job. Who knows how that one will go. Maybe I'll get one, maybe I won't. I'll figure it out.

I'll miss everyone over winter break! We better stay in touch and still hang out. I'll be looking on the XA website for outings.

I'm going to go. I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to update.

<3 you everyone.

Yesterday turned out a lot better than I expected. I was only going on 2 hours and 45 minutes of sleep so I figured it'd be a slow, bleh, day. But it wasn't.

Morning Prayer...I actually wasn't too tired for. It had a good message behind it. Unity. It was pretty intense though, especially at the end. So...Bat, I LOVE YOU. You're awesome. I hope you're feeling better.

After that I prayed with Nicole and then headed to study for my math test. Which I feel I did pretty well in. So I hope I did.

Once English was over I ran into Megan and we went to her dorm so she could start up her little smokies for Salon. We were in there a while then got some food at the C-Store and headed to Theatre.

After theatre I did some reading and ran into Sidney, so we hung out some.

Last night was Salon, at the Beavercreek Assembly of God. Awesome time. Not so awesome car ride over there though...with the help of a terribly hateful father, but eh. I got there and it was awesome. Unfortunately I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted, because my camera died halfway through! I was so upset. Bah. Oh well, I'll bum some pictures from the other XA people.

Meisha, Ashley K, and Brittany H.  singing.

Brittany singing "Popular" with Meisha

The awesome MC's for the night....

Ashley W. and Megan. Ashley made her outfit, by the way. It was super.

One of the D-Groups. From top left- Bethany, Meisha, Brittany, Casey, (Unfortunately I don't know the girl in the white's name), Emily, Sarah, and Amy's hair is there.

Casey and Erica performing their interpretive dance. They did a really good job.

Liz did an interpretive dance too. That one was neat.

Some people read stories or poems. Sort of like Josh L. here, reading a short story he wrote.

Some people played instruments, like Amy here, playing the trumpet. Sarah played the accordian...too bad my camera was dead. That was super. haha.

Some people drew things. Kyle did, so did Emily. Here's Kyle.

This is Emily. I got her in the middle of explaining her piece. so sorry!! But look at that drawing. It's good.

Ashley, Erica, and my wonderful discipler, Nicole.  <3

Ashley, Ashley, and Emily...and Jeremy in the background.

Me and Megan.

This is me and Josh. That's the last picture I got before my camera died. Bah. I had a lot of pictures I still wanted to take, but at least most of the people I wanted a picture with took one with me, so I'll take one from them. Or from the XA website, if they put the pictures up.

 Afterward I went to Waffle House with Erica, Emily, Kyle and his friend Gwin (I hope that's her name, if not, I apologize, and please correct me), and Johnathan. It was some fun times.

Tonight I'm going to see some Opera scenes with Meisha I think, in the Creative Arts Center.

I just wanted to update on the night, show some pictures, and now I have homework to do.

See ya! <3